I was stressing over a lot of things God. I am too exhausted. This is not just a thesis. This is my ticket to Cambridge, to Harvard or to Oxford. I am so sad because I felt all my HD effort for a year is wasted on this thesis. 24 units? Woah. Although I get a credit, I would still get a commendation, but what will these traditonal universities say seeing all HD and a credit on a thesis (esp Oxbridge!)? How can I stand a chance? But I am finally letting it go and offering it all up to you. I will do my best till the end. But not my will, let your will be done. You have not failed me God, and I am certain you will never cut the wings you gave me.
Thanks for Lois today…
At least finally submitted…
And yes flu finally caught me (after the stressful week). Doing the complete thesis draft, the final submission to my supervisor with high fever. I was even vomiting in between while writing it. And yes. I do not ask for extensions even when I am (super) sick. Can my thesis get worse than this? I was losing hope.
Building on my last post, I am glad I decided to watch ‘Doctor Stranger’. I don’+ know I just hate medical dramas and I kept on saying before in 2014 +hat it is not my type. After binging on this drama since evening of Saturday until ths evening, I couldn’t stop thinking of Dr. Park Hoon and the idea of loving someone like him. If I were Dr. Oh I would also feel the same way when Dr. Hun was terminated. I want someone like him so bad… Someone who’s brilliant and exceptional, but also kind-hearted, real and funny. I want someone to be my exact opposite. 😟😟😟
Lunch with Melda and Karla today
My work at Appen still.gives me a lot of anxiety… I always feel stupid. LuckilynI have Haishan and the new ALPM, Chiern to help out Mandarin.
After being almost done, I think I deserve a big breakfast…
Breakfast today with Melda
Trying really hard to squeeze ideas out for my last paper
I always get anxious when it comes to my job… I feel so stupid and for the past days instead of focusing on my Syntactic Theory paper, I had been stressed over my Appen tasks. I feel like I could not breathe… Everything is overwhelming. Still discerning whether I should travel around Scandinavia. Hmmm
I also do not want to chase glory after glory… Look at what anxiet can do. I resort to coke whenever it kicks in. Why am I so afraid of committing mistakes? Why does it feel like death?
But thankfully, God intervened and the meeting with Nic and Sinney went smoothly. I also could not believe that Nic was impressed by my progress. Well, that is the Holy Spirit working. I will do my best in this project. That I promise God.