Musings

Random Thoughts

This is the most special award for me…

(Thought of it while cleaning up my documents)

Not only because I am the first and only awardee since 2011 (can’+ believe it’s that long), but because it is a testament of my hard work back then, balancing leadership, academics and service. I sometimes think I have used up all my voice and energy back in uni tha+ I no longer want to hold any high leadership position since then. Yet I still feel guilty for not achieving anything (to prove myself I am.worthy of this award), and for not even trying…

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Photo Diary #393: July 20, 2019 Saturday, Bye Australia

Goodbye Australia

Excited for the new chapter!!!

Thanks PAL for bringing me back safely

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Photo Diary #392: July 19, 2019 Friday, ANU

And today is the final day of graduations. Congrats guys! I will miss you all… (Grad photos not mine)

Today I had to pack my stuffs and buy pasalubong of course. Hahaha

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Photo Diary #391: July 18, 2019 Thursday, ANU Graduation

Thank you God for everything. Thank you Australia Awards, Philippine Department of Education, Toad Hall, ANU! Thank you everyone! My ANU experience has been the best! I was in a dream, and it’s time to face reality and serve the world… I love you Australia.

Thank you for giving me a chance and for showing me I can…

A glimpse of my graduation here: ANU MA Graduation | Australia Diaries

 

 

 

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Photo Diary #383: July 10, 2019 Wednesday, University Medal & NGA

I still can’t believe this happened. When I first learned about the University Medal award three months ago, I shivered. There was something in that name. I didn’t know why I reacted that way and what it was. I looked it up and thought I wasn’t eligible… but again God moved mountains.

Screen Shot 2019-07-26 at 8.11.13 am

Today, I also visited the National Gallery of Art for the last time.

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Photo Diary #382: July 09, 2019 Tuesday, Llewelyn Hall

I had my speech practice today with Amanda Burell. Like Vivian from ASLC, Amanda also cried when I said the last quote. Everyone is tired and everyone has this feeling of not being enough whether we admit it or not. That line and the speech resonated more with those who have been working and still feel lacking in so many areas. Maybe that is why most who said the speech was great are people in their 40s. Hahahahaha

I also cried when she said: Can I hug you?… Your speech does not reveal any specifics, it is very general but it reveals the type of person you are, how beautiful your soul is. CASS has made the right choice.

A part of me was crying because I am really exhausted, I want to rest and the speech tells that aspect of myself. I’m crying of so much gratitude to God for choosing me. I did think about applying for speech graduation a year before, but then I hesitated later on cos I know I am a nobody. And then an email came inviting me to really apply because Prof Catherine Travis thinks I am fit for the role. When I applied, I only put “ANUFA member”. I was screaming in the application: I am not special. I am silent, I am a nobody. But God wanted me to be on that stage. God wanted to assure me I am enough, and that I still have my voice. I felt we can’t really run away from who we are. And like what he did in Japan 11 years ago, He made a way for me to be on that podium. Kuya, tsk tsk. Who can say no if you You want it to happen! But now I am thankful to God for giving me this once in a lifetime experience.

 

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Photo Diary #347: June 14, 2019 Friday, Toad Hall

Oh my gawd. Finally done with my last Polish. I am officially done… After all the manual editing (but still a lot of errors 🤕😑😡😤), I have finally submitted my last Cosmos. You are a project so dear to my heart… Having coordinated you a couple of times (and organised you, and manually sanity checked each language in the past), I have grown to understand you (and accepted that you will never be satisfied hahahaha, and that’s okay). Maybe that is the reason I cannot hate you (!!!!) I will always love you no matter how hard you continue to become. You allowed me to grow in a lot of ways, and through you I learned a lo+ at Appen. Maybe that is the reason why I still cry to my mom whenever I talk about you (I am still tearing up now). You will always have a special place in my heart. I know I had a lot of shortcomings, I should have organised you better, but you know I did what I can with the little knowledge I had a year ago. Hope to see you again,but for now thank you, goodbye Cosmos. Charot ginamos. 😤😤😤

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Photo Diary #321: May 09, 2019 Thursday, Toad Hall

I was stressing over a lot of things God. I am too exhausted. This is not just a thesis. This is my ticket to Cambridge, to Harvard or to Oxford. I am so sad because I felt all my HD effort for a year is wasted on this thesis. 24 units? Woah. Although I get a credit, I would still get a commendation, but what will these traditonal universities say seeing all HD and a credit on a thesis (esp Oxbridge!)? How can I stand a chance? But I am finally letting it go and offering it all up to you. I will do my best till the end. But not my will, let your will be done. You have not failed me God, and I am certain you will never cut the wings you gave me.

Thanks for Lois today…

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Photo Diary #318: May 06, 2019 Monday, Full Draft Submission

At least finally submitted…

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Photo Diary #317: May 05, 2019 Sunday, Flu

And yes flu finally caught me (after the stressful week). Doing the complete thesis draft, the final submission to my supervisor with high fever. I was even vomiting in between while writing it. And yes. I do not ask for extensions even when I am (super) sick. Can my thesis get worse than this? I was losing hope.

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