Kayla In Oz

Photo Diary #348: June 05, 2019 Wednesday, ANU Libraries

Made another video today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJOxiBtShOU

I will miss you ANU 😦

IMG_0281

Categories: 365 Photos Journal, Kayla In Oz, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Photo Diary #347: June 04, 2019 Tuesday, Toad Hall

Stayed all day at Toad hall cos…

Sometimes I wonder why I’m so stupid and ugly. Maybe that’s the reason people

ignore me…

Everything I do is always wrong. I haven’t done something right!!!

When I complain, I’m wrong.

When I ignore, I’m still wrong.

So what should I do?

Maybe God is slowly detaching me from the world, so I can finally have

the courage to go and be a missionary?

I don’t know… that idea lingers… there’s still a possibility.

Every sacrifice I’ve made is pointless, futile.

Everything about me is wrong…

And that’s why people just think I’m trash.

Why do I even fight?

Why do I even try?

What do I fight for?

All I know now is I’m happy drinking my coffee in the morning while watching Cari Cakes or BTS…

My life is useless and pointless and everything is futile.

So tell me, why should I still live?

I dream of being fluent, of being smart, of being kind, of being loving…

But I’m not.

Maybe it’s the reason for not even trying…

I don’t want to anymore.

I  am alone.

I smile but I’m exhausted

I laugh when I’m in deep pain.

I want to love, but I don’t feel anything at all.

I want to be angry at least… but

I’m also tired of being angry.

I honestly ask God to just take me home…

I wanna go home (to heaven) and rest…

Hope tomorrow it will be different.

Has God given up on me?

I’m sorry God for wasting everything you taught me.

I’m sorry if you prepared me in high school only to end up like this.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be that person you wanted me to be..

I’m sorry, I’m sorry for just being this.

I’m just this.

I’m sorry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories: 365 Photos Journal, Kayla In Oz | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Photo Diary #346: June 03, 2019 Monday, Toad Hall

Categories: 365 Photos Journal, Kayla In Oz | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Photo Diary #345: June 02, 2019 Sunday, Kambri & Flora

Spent almost four hours with Flora again today… I love the tea she prepared.

Here’s us: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZq7bztFaf4

IMG_0226

Categories: 365 Photos Journal, Kayla In Oz, Uncategorized, Vlogs | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Photo Diary #344: June 01, 2019 Saturday, Canberra

IMG_0113

Categories: 365 Photos Journal, Kayla In Oz, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Photo Diary #343: May 31, 2019 Friday, Braddon

Today, explored Braddon with Janice. Also here’s a link to my very first (edited) Youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOia0tDXQ1Y

IMG_0185

 

Categories: 365 Photos Journal, Kayla In Oz, Uncategorized, Vlog | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Photo Diary #342: May 30, 2019 Thursday,Toad Hall

I will miss you, Toad Hall.

IMG_0146

Categories: 365 Photos Journal, Kayla In Oz, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Photo Diary #341: May 29, 2019 Wednesday, Invitation

This was unexpected… Just when I was about to give up (on everything)… God hasn’+. Can I cry for a bit? Hello oration and microphone,we will meet again, if it is God’s will…

Maybe this is what God meant when He said I have to go back to my core.

Screen Shot 2019-05-29 at 10.15.37 am

Categories: 365 Photos Journal, Kayla In Oz, Skills, Successes | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Photo Diary #340: May 28, 2019 Tuesday, Thesis Done

I am officially free. I am really happy!!!Submitted my thesis at 9:40 am and the hard copy at 11:30. Wohooooo!

Categories: 365 Photos Journal, Kayla In Oz, Successes | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Photo Diary #339: May 27, 2019 Monday, Editing

It is a holiday in Canberra, so no printing shops are open except OfficeWorks. But they won’+ return my thesis tomorrow, so I have to look for an alternative. Thank you God for leading me to the University Printing Service. Didn’+ even know they existed.

Categories: 365 Photos Journal, Kayla In Oz | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.