God’s Messages

April Prayers: God Sees Everything

Dear Jesus,

I want to take this moment to thank you for all the times I thought I was failing. I am completely lacking in all things, but you continue to remind me every day that you are my strength. I remember around six-seven months ago, I was interviewed by a linguistics company in Italy. If I succeeded, I would have had my training last January in Italy’s silicon valley, the month when Italy got worse. I was also interviewed by a Canadian company, but for some reason I backed out. Something didn’t feel right. Then a lot of failures happened after that. When I couldn’t decide whether to go to Manila or not in around November to look for a job, the Holy Spirit stopped me. Everything fell apart. A lot of turn downs. The world seemed to be deaf to my cries back then. I wondered whether something was wrong with me, my CV, etc. Before I could easily find a job… but 2019 wasn’t similar. It was a year where I felt I was chained to a big rock! Then you brought me to an online company that pays around 500 pesos per hour of teaching and which pays weekly. I enjoyed it a lot because I can teach whatever and however I want. I slowly attracted regulars from around the world. IN a way, my students became my windows to the world. My current job ignited the passion I have for teaching. I’ve grown a lot because of it. Also, I was cashing in a lot to the point that I honestly wasn’t worried where I would get the next meal for my family because I could work for only three days and we would still be able to live decently and pay bills for the next week. Then around the time when that teaching became stable and I could open slots whenever I want, the pandemic hit. The world stopped, but my life didn’t. We were all crying during our evening prayer time because I finally understood why you closed all doors on me five months before the worse times. You were just preparing me God. I didn’t see the world pausing for a while back then. You paused my life ahead, so I wouldn’t take the hit badly. I thought I was missing a lot and wasn’t being heard, BUT I was all wrong God. Although a lot happened to our family, I still thank you. My mom got sick, I was sick. Then my brother was transferred to another city in Korea. We had a lot of financial hurdles still. My dad was diagnosed with a sickness. My grandfather was getting worse. All these traumas for the past months that our family had to go through numbed me in a way. But this protection reminded my family that You were not deaf to our cries, You were listening intently. I trust You!

Thank you Jesus for staying true to your promise of protection. I still remember the time when I kept on sinning and you just told me, for the sake of that kid I will never leave you, I will save you. You assured me every time that I may stumble, but I will never fall because you will lift me up. Kuya, ikaw gid nagpadaku sa akon. Bal-an mo na. What did I do to deserve your Love. I’m sorry for loving Jimin too much, for refusing to give up my love for him. You are a jealous God, and you told me that yesterday. I will be a better person for you and for him. As he soars higher, I will do my best to keep up. Sending him the daily evening messages weirdly rekindles my love for myself. I will lose weight this year, I will be a better version of myself. I will maintain my prayer times, and do my best to give proofs of my love to my parents. This year will be a slow year for sure. I may not understand the case with Cambridge, but I put all my trust and confidence in You. You got this Kuya. When you say “no”, it’s only for our protection. If a door is for me, you would drag me to it. My life has been a testimony to that. Thank you Kuya Jesus!

Thank you for my Korean. I’m now able to read and also remember basic words and verbs, and form basic sentences. It’s a long way to go. But as promised, I would continue the daily one to two hours study time until June. Like you advised, if I want to start a hobby I have to do it for three months. Only then can I switch to another one. Honesty though, I think I might continue my Korean study beyond our set deadline. The three-month rule we had was sure effective Kuya. Consistency is a great remedy in beating my ADD tendencies.

I’m sorry Kuya, I’m really sorry but I also continue to pray for Jimin… may you heal him, give him more opportunities to grow, so he can soar higher. But most of all, strengthen his relationship and faith in You. It’s the first time I felt this way Kuya Jesus, and you know that. I only wish for him to soar higher, to feel loved, comforted, appreciated. Heal his voice, body and character. I pray that you will give him wisdom. Remove the bad influences from his life. Protect him Jesus. We may never see each other in this lifetime, so I can only pray for him Kuya and love him from afar. He’s my inspiration lately… I started thinking about my life and my passion because of him. I began thinking how I can improve. Like him, I want to continue challenging myself — improving in the areas I am good at. Teaching, orating, voice over. I haven’t done anything with these skills lately. He reminded me that I have to constantly hone my talents, and expand myself. Hence, for the past weeks I’ve been reading books on education more. I am thinking of doing a Skillshare voice acting lesson this month to develop my voice overs. Jesus, guide me. You gave me these talents, show me how I can share them and develop them.

Thank you for everything for the past months. I pray for healing in all forms especially healing for my parents, grandfather and Covid-19 patients around the world. I pray that you will pour your love on all of us. We ask for a vaccine, for total healing, and for normality. We pray that you change the hearts of corrupt politicians. Please protect the billions of money God! Only You can protect us at times like this. Only You!

I declared this year as a year of Blessings, and we’re waiting on You God. Never did you fail in fulfilling my declarations. 2020 is not over. It’s going to be a beautiful year… beautiful doesn’t mean without the ugly. Beautiful in essence means all flaws become unnecessary with all the goodness that overshadows them.

Jesus, please heal us!

Yours always,
Your Kimkim

Categories: God's Messages, Jimin, Lessons, Letters to God, Musings, Serendipity, Uncategorized, Writing | Leave a comment

Photo Diary #373: June 30, 2019 Sunday, Toad Hall

Happy Anniversary kuya

Categories: 365 Photos Journal, God's Messages, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

2nd Love Letter to God: 2019

 

“But now that you have been freed from sin, and have become slaves of Christ, the benefit that you have is sanctification; its end is eternal life.” Romans 6: 22

 

Dear Kuya Jesus,

At the time of writing this, around 3 groups of SRs have reminded us to put all our stuffs on our bed in case of flood. I also went offline ahead because there’s not much to do for Russian. Michelle has got it covered, and what am I even doing with Russian? Is it time to give it up, and just attend to Mandarin? I am so exhausted, and I just do not know which one to start. I want to leave, but I can’t. I want to focus on my own, but I can’t. There’s always something  I need to pay for, something I need to attend to, something I need to fix about myself. Can I just be me for a second God? I’m too exhausted. I realise it will never be enough for them. It will never be… so I have to focus on myself for awhile. Why am I even being guilty? I am so tired God. I am so tired. Can I just be truly happy for a second? How can I even marry and start when I’m still single, but I feel like I’m the father of four children. I worry, yes. Until now I can’t get it off my chest… God, I want to rest. Someday, it will all be worth it… I hope.

I love you.

Love,
Kim-kim

Categories: God's Messages, Letters to God, Uncategorized | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Photo Diary #226: February 03, 2019 Sunday, Toad Hall

Starting today, I will post daily a letter to God. This is part of my dev plan for this year. As I have shared in my New Year’s post, this year’s focus is God and Good health. I always tie success to something tangible and measurable, so on top of my daily devotion, tithing and all the regular Christian way of maturing in God, I decided to start a love letter to God which I will call ‘300 Love Letters to God’.

I have also recently started filling my pinboard with a daily verse I pick for the day. Lately I have been rereading daily the letter to Romans (which contains most debated topics in our culture today), but in today’s message note from Saddleback, I picked Jonah 2:7.

Jesus just knows the words when I need them the most. Being busy with Appen work and my workouts that leave me too exhausted for the day, I have not started with my thesis yet! I am worried of not maintaining my HD, considering that the unis I will apply to are concerned about these grades. Fear blocked me and I allowed myself to believe the lies of a frenemy that I will never be enough, that I cannot measure up, that I can only try, that I am too small, that I am not great enough. But guess what, I believe that God is enough and that He can, so I choose to turn my thoughts to God. I will do my best to keep believing I am enough and that with God, I can absolutely do it again. (Insert Do it Again song here 😂😂😂)

Categories: 365 Photos Journal, Development, God's Messages, Kayla In Oz | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Photo Diary #219: January 27, 2019 Sunday, Happy Birthday Rick

Few takeaways from the Q and A with Rick…

Today’s service for me centred on living a life of integrity. God loves a person with integrity – whose ethics and morals are consistent. I believe I am one big hypocrite. I believe in church but I attend service online only for example. I believe in Kindness but I can turn down an opportunity to help due to inconvenience. I believe in community but I sometimes gossip about people (with my parents). I profess I am humble disguised through charming smiles and one-word responses but I brag silently and loudly at times to hide my insecurities, and measure people up according to my standards. I am guilty as charged. And I thank God for still loving me and for trusting in the direction of my heart. Lead me God, teach me to live a life of integrity.

Categories: 365 Photos Journal, Development, God's Messages, Kayla In Oz, Musings | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Photo Diary #216: January 24, 2019 Thursday, Fernwood

I so love Salmon Nagiri and the calming chatter at the food court in Canberra centre… This is what contentment feels like.

I have also been watching the video below to affirm my decision. You gotta protect yourself, girl. Yes, they may not be aware of it, but you have to protect your well-being. 3:25 – 4:00 says a lot about this! And my decision to remove this toxicity has been so calming.

Categories: 365 Photos Journal, Development, God's Messages, Kayla In Oz | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Photo Diary #212: January 20, 2019 Sunday, God’s Five Purposes for Your Life

Something to ponder on and work hard at every day…

screen shot 2019-01-27 at 3.50.49 pm

Categories: 365 Photos Journal, God's Messages, Kayla In Oz, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Letter to Jesus: Happy Birthday!

Dear Kuya Jesus,

Happy birthday! Ito naman tayo, ahahahahah! I can’t believe I’m writing this letter at Toad Hall in Canberra, Australia. This shows how you’ve blessed me for the past years. I want to thank you for everything, for choosing to be born into this world to save us, for dying on the cross and for being the best kuya ever! Ahahahahaha. I want to honor You with my life, my choices, my lips, my heart, my finances. Everything kuya. IT’s been a rough 14 years for us, but what still holds true is Your unfailing love and compassion. Rick is right, I must not base Your love on what I feel, on what I think… because the truth that You love us despite our shortcomings still remains. You are the same yesterday, today and forever, and so I give my past, present and future to You!

You say I am enough when my heart and the people say I’m not

You say it’s okay while they say I’m unworthy to be forgiven

You say I’m loved when people say I am not

 

I’m sorry if I keep this small notebook and read my prayers every day. I treat you like a vending machine for the past year. I’m sorry God. But you know it’s just to keep track and to keep me at ease knowing that You are here, aware of my petty concerns.

 

God, You are that hand that tucks me in at night when I cannot sleep

God, You are that warm breeze that keeps me at peace amidst my throbbing heart and clammy hands

God, You are the whisper that assures me everything is okay

God, You are those soft eyes that choose not to judge me when I’m being too arrogant

God, You are that coach who guides me what to do

God, You are the peaceful assurance that I CAN despite what others say

God, You are that laughter when I complain, trying to keep it light

God, You are that silent thug in me, pushing me forward

God, You are that voice that do not judge me whenever I miss a service, although you keep on reproving me in this area of my life

God, You never nagged.

God, You never choke me with SHOULDs. Instead you keep on reminding me to rest

God, You are too busy pointing out the goods instead of the bads in me.

God, You did not give up on me when I was about to give up on myself.

 

Thank you so much Kuya for protecting us and granting our prayers. I love you Kuya. I have to work on staying close and getting closer to You each day for the next year. I thank you Kuya Jesus for:

 

Miraculously healing my sister and removing her cysts,

Changing my coordinator’s heart. I can’t believe she’s praising me now. What happened?

Granting my mama’s visa. You know it’s my dream. Thank you also for telling me not to ask my mama to undergo the health exams anymore. We trusted and You delivered.

Providing me with a job. I remember I was looking for jobs online because Appen was not too busy around June-July. As usual, I was anxious again. I had a lot of what ifs. What if I don’t earn enough, what if…And then now, I work 4o hours a week!

Helping me hit my target savings! I remember I only asked for this amount and after a year, I can’t believe I am actually earning what I put in the notebook! I thought it’s just wishful thinking, now it’s my reality. True enough, in an instant you can make a poor man rich (Sirach 11:20-21). I held on to this for such a long time. I still remember pawning my mama’s gift because I was at a rat race. I promised myself that that won’t happen again. I cried out to you, and You answered me! God, you are a great God!

Giving me all HDs for the past two semesters. You also granted my prayer of getting all HDs in all of my papers and take-homes and quizzes. I worked hard on them, but even though at times I faltered, You didn’t. You still gave me those HDs.

Stopping me from taking the assistantship. True enough, I can’t even move now. I  feel so tired every after my Appen working hours. How much more if I got into that Summer Scholarship. I also know that You have a purpose. And I trust You.

Reminding me that having a church family is important!

Thank you for teaching me that all blessings come from You. Working hard is important, but it’s not everything. We still have to anchor ourselves to you and source our strength and courage from You.

Thank you for teaching me the importance of timing. If it’s time, it will surely happen.

Thank you for bringing people in my life also who correct me so I can see my blind spots, and work on them.

Thank you for teaching me how to bake through Melda, for teaching me how to be confident, and loving.

Thank you most of all for clarifying my goals. I want to be a professor that’s it. I want to live a normal simple life but still able to provide for my parents and siblings, and family. I want to be the best mother and wife.

While I’m in my season of waiting, I found this to be helpful after hearing grandpas shared what they loved about their wives:

I must take care of my husband. Make him breakfast, prepare his lunchbox and welcome him with love during dinner;

Listen to him and support him;

Nag not. He has his way of being, and that’s just a fact of life;

Find a way to show him every day how I love, respect, and support him ;

Date every week

Thank you Jesus for everything especially for the past 2018, a Year of Excellence, which has been true for me.  I love you Kuya Jesus. Happy birthday!

 

Yours always,

Kim-kim

Categories: God's Messages, Kayla In Oz, Lessons, Musings, Successes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

GOD’S RESPONSE RIGHT AWAY

Screen Shot 2018-11-28 at 7.19.05 pm

It’s funny that the photo chosen by Marilyn is a plant in a pot… God’s response to my wilt flower.

Categories: God's Messages, Kayla In Oz, Uncategorized | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Photo Diary #156: November 25, 2018 Sunday, Toad Hall

Screen Shot 2018-11-28 at 5.49.21 pm

I also started preparing my mother’s itinerary for her visa application…

So help us God

 

Categories: 365 Photos Journal, God's Messages, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.