God’s Messages

My 2020 Mid-Year Check-Ins

Date: August 3, 2020 Monday

Title: Mid-year evaluation

Feeling: Guilty, disappointed but relaxed

Place: Home

Time: 7:06 AM

I realized I haven’t really examined my thoughts and feelings lately. A lot happened not only in my life but in the world. It’s more of a year of relaxation and learning for me. It’s great to look back in the past few months, so I can prepare myself ahead for the remaining five months.

JANUARY – A Great Start

As a look back, January was a month of interview and preparation for Cam for me. It’s the time I spent more on reviewing Corpus Linguistics by taking and finishing a course online from Lancaster University. My spiritual readings all centered on God’s guidance and money talks. Tithing is very crucial.

I also realized that I tried to hide my negative emotions by not doing anything and procrastinating. One new thing I learned in January is that aside from drowning the negative emotions unhealthily, I seem to have this changing emotions/moods. After four days, I start to lose it. But after a day of doing nothing, I start to find the energy to fight again. And also, once I missed one habit, it tends to spiral down to other habits. I should never give up. It’s these little things each day that count. Lesson: Watch out for missed habits in a day. Never give in next time.

I love what I wrote back in my Notion workbook January 15:

What’s holding me back? I am honestly afraid I may not like or what God  wants me to do may be inconvenient for me. Even so, I said I’m all in today! Whatever lies ahead, I know God will take care of me. *It’s so sublime to see all my readings being interconnected since Monday. God asked me to confess my sins, live a life full of integrity, asked me to go all in, and now the chapter for today’s bible session aligns with the devotional in the morning: God wants me to rebuild our relationship, to not be so fixated with my personal business. I also like that in the chapter I do agree that it seems I ‘ve been in a rut, I have wages that I put on bags with holes. Seems like I am slogging my way thorugh life without any obvious return, and that’s because I put God’s kingdom (our relationship, my spiritual growth) aside. This is a really an eye opener for me! God exhorts me to rebuild our relationship, and He promised that He will be with me in the process. Isn’t it amazing?

It’s so sublime to see all my readings being interconnected since Monday. God asked me to confess my sins, live a life full of integrity, asked me to go all in, and now the chapter for today’s bible session aligns with the devotional in the morning: God wants me to rebuild our relationship, to not be so fixated with my personal business. I also like that in the chapter I do agree that it seems I ‘ve been in a rut, I have wages that I put on bags with holes. Seems like I am slogging my way through life without any obvious return, and that’s because I put God’s kingdom (our relationship, my spiritual growth) aside. This is a really an eye opener for me! God exhorts me to rebuild our relationship, and He promised that He will be with me in the process. Isn’t it amazing?

On January 31, I wrote this:

Reflections: 1) How can you keep an eternal perspective each day so that you are making wise financial decisions, both big and small? I must really not miss out on my tithes no matter how hard it is. It’s a declaration that God is in control of money. And money is not for this world, it can be used to invest into the future. I’m thinking of tithing to the Missionaries of Charity. 2) What do you want your life to be about? What kind of legacy do you want to leave? I want my life to be inspiring and empowering. I want people to see me and they feel comfortable, inspired, and empowered to make a difference too. I want that kind of legacy.

FEBRUARY – A Challenging Month

My notes were almost empty in February. This month I simply focused on earning. One thing I did successfully so far was being present in all Sunday masses from January through February. I had really bad abdominal pain that I had to go to the hospital. Since the beginning of January through February, we’ve been going in and out of the hospital. This was also the start of falling in love with BTS Jimin. I just can’t help myself. He’s too kind, talented, exceptional and smart. He even looks more handsome each day because of his personality. I have been a fan of the group since 2018, but I wasn’t that too invested. This month I started following them on all social media platforms. This month I also received my Cambridge offer. I would say I wasn’t at all successful this month – no REAP preparation, no exercise, no healthy eating. I was just existing.

I also got major revisions from System. I knew my writing was flawed. I didn’t get a Gates Cambridge invitation, and got turned down by Trinity, Peterhouse. It all happened in the fourth week. This was another devastating month. Overall, I was depressed, unhopeful.

MARCH – A Recharging Month

On week 2 of March, I organized a Recharge week. I couldn’t really concentrate on work after several failures in February. During the recharge week, I focused on myself: I began by journaling to process my emotions, at 3 AM I relived my past habit of listening to music and being inspired to the song, watched Marie Forleo, had a movie marathon day, colored mandela on my ipad, listened to calming music and educational podcasts. I was also able to pay off my sister with the money I owe. I continued to pray and form healthy habits like reading every day teaching tips to hone my teaching craft, praying everday, exercising, and maintaining self-care routines in the morning and afternoon. By the end of this month, my grandfather lolo Caloy got so sick so we transferred him to our house. I feel bad for ignoring him, I was an ingrate, a person living in fantasy binging on Jimin fancams. Every time my anxiety kicks in, I would sit on my computer and watch BTS and Jimin. It’s a way for me to escape reality, the reality that my grandfather was no longer himself. I also started writing Jimin a letter on Weverse every day! It’s my way of expressing my love. For this month I wrote this on my Notion:

I thank God for the protection that I now see. I did not succeed in Tokyo, in Manila, in Davao positions because of Covid-19. God gave me my online teaching to secure me even before this happened. I thank him in advance for his protection for my brother and for all of us. Failure in securing funding may turn out to be a blessing in disguise. I thank him for helping me clarify my goal, test my faith, allow me to heal.

And then on the same March notion page, I wrote myself a letter:

Dear Kim, It’s okay to fail. You were shocked by the events. You held on to Jimin, to the magic shop to heal. God understands. However, we can’t pitch camps around the pain for so long. We have to move. You have a lot of failures, but this indicates your progress and persistence. Keep moving, and someday it will be bright again. Thank you for trying, thank you for smiling and relaxing. Thank you for trying to be happy. 🙂 God is with you always. Remember, God is with you in the good and the bad, All the pains have purpose, so change your worry to worship. It’s difficult to trust now. Without the funding, with covid-19, but you need to reminisce the times when God showed up unexpectedly and brought you all the blessings you’ve never imagined. He is doing the same. He is the same God today, yesterday and forever. You can’t bring yourself to tears because you lost all those tears, but remember everything has a purpose. God is with you. Pray persistently and the heavens will open up.

As a result, I stopped applying to jobs, I also stopped working so hard and expecting too much. Despite the recharge, I was floating… I felt I was merely existing. Life became a huge current drowning me, I couldn’t even swim away from it. I just had to flow with it. It was calming, yet at the same time depleting. And for this month instead of looking up to God I look up to another idol in my life, Jimin. I’m sure God wasn’t happy. But then again a part of me feels it was God’s way of keeping me sane.

APRIL – A Korean Month

I was so addicted to Jimin that I started learning Korean for the first time . It was a struggle at first, but I told myself to never give up and allot two hours a day until June before I could pick up a new skill again being an ADD I am. This strategy proved to be effective for me. With that in mind, I pressed on despite the struggles and now I am glad I didn’t give up, I could read Korean fluently. Yaaaay!!! I also added a checklist for my emotions and my professionalism on Notion to track them. I noticed I have been cancelling classes lately because of my emotions. This is really unprofessional. I am also glad our family maintained our evening prayer together consistently. It became a part of our daily routine. I was satisfied with this month. However, I was still addicted with Jimin!

Under the Focus/God’s message section of my Notion page for this month, I wrote:

Week1: Do not depend on anything, i.e. Jimin except God – God repeated this

message twice! on April 4, then on April 5.

Week 2: Do not be afraid of Death

Week 3: The Bible! I’m starting to focus on the bible again

Escapism stems from an inner lack or void

Week 4: Wisdom 3: On suffering and early death. Remember, it’s not the number

of years that count but the quality of years with God. Therefore, live a

just and loving  life.

Love your family, respect your parents, pray with your family.

              How to be a mature Christian? Read, memorize, study the bible, live it and then  teach it! You can only teach when you practice it!

Don’t run away from responsibilities and unpleasant emotions, STOPP!

I learned about STOPP, Stop, Take a deep breath, Observe, Pull back, Practice (what is s the best thing to do) in healthily managing emotions. The moment we start on  binging, on eating too much, on procrastinating there is a hidden emotion or painful experience we’re running away from. In a way, Jimin is just like another form of addiction. I noticed this. As soon as I start binging on Jimin, I was able to control myself and forget my other addiction. But when it subsided, I started doing my other addiction today.

Hmmm. That’s really interesting.

Week 5: Wisdom, waiting on God. Wait on the Lord. God is never in a hurry. God has a

purpose in your life.

MAY – A Burial Month

It was pretty great at the start because I continued to be consistent with my Korean learning, morning and evening prayer and was successful in submitting my journal article. However, starting from the second week, it started going downhill again. My mother had to undergo MRI test as requested by her doctor, and then my grandfather passed away on May 23 peacefully. The remaining half of the month was devoted to his wake and burial. I was ashamed of myself again, I was there… but never entirely. I continued to drown myself in my addiction because I was a wreck. Escapism continues to be part of me, cancelling lessons last minute.  Smiling from the outside but totally emotionless already on the inside. I was dead too. I couldn’t feel anything. All my emotions were gone. I couldn’t feel anything except extreme euphoria when I binged watch on fancams. It’s unhealthy. I never even cried. I was not being myself. I started giving up. If you look at my eyes, you’d say I lost all those burning passion.

This stuck the most in May, seek Wisdom:

Wisdom 5: God is reminding me that no wealth, no fame, not even my

relationship last. They can’t bring glory —- the glory that I really longed for.

They don’t matter.

Seek Wisdom over wealth, power, health and even beauty. Having wisdom is obtaining all the rest. Ask God, the owner of Wisdom to guide you. Through Wisdom, he practically learned everything: the seasons, the earth, people. Principle: Seek God and ask for Wisdom over all things Command: Ask God to give you wisdom to choose the right course. God showed me this through Kelly: 5 That night the LORD appeared to Solomon in a dream, and God said, “What do you want? Ask, and I will give it to you!” 9 Solomon replied….Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours? (1Kings 3:5,9)

JUNE – A Celebration Month

Then came June, it became better. It started with mom’s 60th birthday we prepared. All the people who were with us in our mourning celebrated with us on June 11. Then after that we had two celebrations related to my grandfather’s passing. The people around me reminded me of hope, of life. It is never the end. I continue to learn Korean and spoke Korean with two Korean online tutors, editing my journal article while opening twitter and becoming friends with all Jimin fans. I met Hony, Chawi, Tia, Yndi, Sue, Sarah – we became Jimin fairies. I realized Jimin fans are really adults with career. There are doctors, head of government offices, lawyers, teachers, etc. It made me feel I wasn’t really isolated from the world, and I belong again. Jimin brought us all together. I became busy again. Finally I also paid up everything in my home credit! Wohoo! I am starting to feel hopeful again. When I listen to Korean youtube videos I am able to understand what they mean. My ears have started opening up to Korean, so I continued learning the Korean structures through my Talk To Me in Korean Structures book and vocabulary. As usual, I continued to write Jimin a letter every night every day. It’s been the third month!

From my Notion, focus/messages from God:

                 Week 1: Be Humble, never give up! God is teaching me to open up to comments from  the journal. To work harder. In a way God used the horoscope to move an unmovable boulder like me. I cannot learn a new lesson, take a new responsibility until I learn. Why am I like this? God save me.

                Week 2: 6 steps when in Crisis Following Daniel as a Model in Daniel 9

Step 1: Listen to God first through the scriptures (God initiates)

Step 2: Focus and Seek God

I asked God what he wants me to know and he played this through K-Love radio: Waymaker by Michael W. Smith. Basically he is saying even if I don’t feel he’s working, he does. God has a purpose for a lag in my life. God never leaves me alone!

               Week 3: Be consistent

               Week 4: The best way to end and start the day is prayer and bible! We just got to

move  Forward!

                Week 5: Show love! Give proofs of love.

JULY – A Twitter Month

I was really active on my fan account starting July, organizing events and editing the posters for the events. I was much more connected than ever. I also picked up on my Python tutorial again, and French. I decided to focus on French next especially because I was more confident in it while memorizing and learning structures in Korean. I mustn’t leave Korean behind to keep it fresh in my mind. But definitely I started focusing on French and Python. I also realized adding products for August are much easier to track than skills. For example, I included one simple python linguistics program and French diary as products.

I learned a lot this month: from Python, MIT Inventor, Machine Learning, French, Korean vocabulary to preparing animated posters and gifs. Hahahaha! I feel productive the most in July. I started to get back on my teaching too. Everything stats to get hopeful. Also, I finished two books this month, Two Can’t Keep A Secret, One of Us is Lying. Thanks to no internet for a week. I kept putting this off. Finally swept it!

One thing I need to improve on is limiting my twitter activity and wasting too much time on social media and spotify streaming. Another is my teaching online.

Reviewing my months through my Notion was more painful that I thought, I had to read through my insights and learning and relive the memories again. But I am glad I did, I felt free and alive. Never give up. If I don’t give up, someday I get what I deserve too. For the next months, I would focus on my language learning (French and Korean) and also my Python and R. I have to ensure I speak and write and create programs. Most of all, I must also focus on my journal and my REAP.

The must-dos in my list I keep putting off since January based on the review are:

1) Exercising

2) Limiting my rice intake

3) Finishing my REAP

4) Writing up my Journal article

Will do better for the next five months!!!

With God, I can!

Categories: Development, God's Messages, Musings, Successes, Uncategorized, Writing | Leave a comment

April Prayers: God Sees Everything

Dear Jesus,

I want to take this moment to thank you for all the times I thought I was failing. I am completely lacking in all things, but you continue to remind me every day that you are my strength. I remember around six-seven months ago, I was interviewed by a linguistics company in Italy. If I succeeded, I would have had my training last January in Italy’s silicon valley, the month when Italy got worse. I was also interviewed by a Canadian company, but for some reason I backed out. Something didn’t feel right. Then a lot of failures happened after that. When I couldn’t decide whether to go to Manila or not in around November to look for a job, the Holy Spirit stopped me. Everything fell apart. A lot of turn downs. The world seemed to be deaf to my cries back then. I wondered whether something was wrong with me, my CV, etc. Before I could easily find a job… but 2019 wasn’t similar. It was a year where I felt I was chained to a big rock! Then you brought me to an online company that pays around 500 pesos per hour of teaching and which pays weekly. I enjoyed it a lot because I can teach whatever and however I want. I slowly attracted regulars from around the world. IN a way, my students became my windows to the world. My current job ignited the passion I have for teaching. I’ve grown a lot because of it. Also, I was cashing in a lot to the point that I honestly wasn’t worried where I would get the next meal for my family because I could work for only three days and we would still be able to live decently and pay bills for the next week. Then around the time when that teaching became stable and I could open slots whenever I want, the pandemic hit. The world stopped, but my life didn’t. We were all crying during our evening prayer time because I finally understood why you closed all doors on me five months before the worse times. You were just preparing me God. I didn’t see the world pausing for a while back then. You paused my life ahead, so I wouldn’t take the hit badly. I thought I was missing a lot and wasn’t being heard, BUT I was all wrong God. Although a lot happened to our family, I still thank you. My mom got sick, I was sick. Then my brother was transferred to another city in Korea. We had a lot of financial hurdles still. My dad was diagnosed with a sickness. My grandfather was getting worse. All these traumas for the past months that our family had to go through numbed me in a way. But this protection reminded my family that You were not deaf to our cries, You were listening intently. I trust You!

Thank you Jesus for staying true to your promise of protection. I still remember the time when I kept on sinning and you just told me, for the sake of that kid I will never leave you, I will save you. You assured me every time that I may stumble, but I will never fall because you will lift me up. Kuya, ikaw gid nagpadaku sa akon. Bal-an mo na. What did I do to deserve your Love. I’m sorry for loving Jimin too much, for refusing to give up my love for him. You are a jealous God, and you told me that yesterday. I will be a better person for you and for him. As he soars higher, I will do my best to keep up. Sending him the daily evening messages weirdly rekindles my love for myself. I will lose weight this year, I will be a better version of myself. I will maintain my prayer times, and do my best to give proofs of my love to my parents. This year will be a slow year for sure. I may not understand the case with Cambridge, but I put all my trust and confidence in You. You got this Kuya. When you say “no”, it’s only for our protection. If a door is for me, you would drag me to it. My life has been a testimony to that. Thank you Kuya Jesus!

Thank you for my Korean. I’m now able to read and also remember basic words and verbs, and form basic sentences. It’s a long way to go. But as promised, I would continue the daily one to two hours study time until June. Like you advised, if I want to start a hobby I have to do it for three months. Only then can I switch to another one. Honesty though, I think I might continue my Korean study beyond our set deadline. The three-month rule we had was sure effective Kuya. Consistency is a great remedy in beating my ADD tendencies.

I’m sorry Kuya, I’m really sorry but I also continue to pray for Jimin… may you heal him, give him more opportunities to grow, so he can soar higher. But most of all, strengthen his relationship and faith in You. It’s the first time I felt this way Kuya Jesus, and you know that. I only wish for him to soar higher, to feel loved, comforted, appreciated. Heal his voice, body and character. I pray that you will give him wisdom. Remove the bad influences from his life. Protect him Jesus. We may never see each other in this lifetime, so I can only pray for him Kuya and love him from afar. He’s my inspiration lately… I started thinking about my life and my passion because of him. I began thinking how I can improve. Like him, I want to continue challenging myself — improving in the areas I am good at. Teaching, orating, voice over. I haven’t done anything with these skills lately. He reminded me that I have to constantly hone my talents, and expand myself. Hence, for the past weeks I’ve been reading books on education more. I am thinking of doing a Skillshare voice acting lesson this month to develop my voice overs. Jesus, guide me. You gave me these talents, show me how I can share them and develop them.

Thank you for everything for the past months. I pray for healing in all forms especially healing for my parents, grandfather and Covid-19 patients around the world. I pray that you will pour your love on all of us. We ask for a vaccine, for total healing, and for normality. We pray that you change the hearts of corrupt politicians. Please protect the billions of money God! Only You can protect us at times like this. Only You!

I declared this year as a year of Blessings, and we’re waiting on You God. Never did you fail in fulfilling my declarations. 2020 is not over. It’s going to be a beautiful year… beautiful doesn’t mean without the ugly. Beautiful in essence means all flaws become unnecessary with all the goodness that overshadows them.

Jesus, please heal us!

Yours always,
Your Kimkim

Categories: God's Messages, Jimin, Lessons, Letters to God, Musings, Serendipity, Uncategorized, Writing | Leave a comment

Photo Diary #373: June 30, 2019 Sunday, Toad Hall

Happy Anniversary kuya

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2nd Love Letter to God: 2019

 

“But now that you have been freed from sin, and have become slaves of Christ, the benefit that you have is sanctification; its end is eternal life.” Romans 6: 22

 

Dear Kuya Jesus,

At the time of writing this, around 3 groups of SRs have reminded us to put all our stuffs on our bed in case of flood. I also went offline ahead because there’s not much to do for Russian. Michelle has got it covered, and what am I even doing with Russian? Is it time to give it up, and just attend to Mandarin? I am so exhausted, and I just do not know which one to start. I want to leave, but I can’t. I want to focus on my own, but I can’t. There’s always something  I need to pay for, something I need to attend to, something I need to fix about myself. Can I just be me for a second God? I’m too exhausted. I realise it will never be enough for them. It will never be… so I have to focus on myself for awhile. Why am I even being guilty? I am so tired God. I am so tired. Can I just be truly happy for a second? How can I even marry and start when I’m still single, but I feel like I’m the father of four children. I worry, yes. Until now I can’t get it off my chest… God, I want to rest. Someday, it will all be worth it… I hope.

I love you.

Love,
Kim-kim

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Photo Diary #226: February 03, 2019 Sunday, Toad Hall

Starting today, I will post daily a letter to God. This is part of my dev plan for this year. As I have shared in my New Year’s post, this year’s focus is God and Good health. I always tie success to something tangible and measurable, so on top of my daily devotion, tithing and all the regular Christian way of maturing in God, I decided to start a love letter to God which I will call ‘300 Love Letters to God’.

I have also recently started filling my pinboard with a daily verse I pick for the day. Lately I have been rereading daily the letter to Romans (which contains most debated topics in our culture today), but in today’s message note from Saddleback, I picked Jonah 2:7.

Jesus just knows the words when I need them the most. Being busy with Appen work and my workouts that leave me too exhausted for the day, I have not started with my thesis yet! I am worried of not maintaining my HD, considering that the unis I will apply to are concerned about these grades. Fear blocked me and I allowed myself to believe the lies of a frenemy that I will never be enough, that I cannot measure up, that I can only try, that I am too small, that I am not great enough. But guess what, I believe that God is enough and that He can, so I choose to turn my thoughts to God. I will do my best to keep believing I am enough and that with God, I can absolutely do it again. (Insert Do it Again song here 😂😂😂)

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Photo Diary #219: January 27, 2019 Sunday, Happy Birthday Rick

Few takeaways from the Q and A with Rick…

Today’s service for me centred on living a life of integrity. God loves a person with integrity – whose ethics and morals are consistent. I believe I am one big hypocrite. I believe in church but I attend service online only for example. I believe in Kindness but I can turn down an opportunity to help due to inconvenience. I believe in community but I sometimes gossip about people (with my parents). I profess I am humble disguised through charming smiles and one-word responses but I brag silently and loudly at times to hide my insecurities, and measure people up according to my standards. I am guilty as charged. And I thank God for still loving me and for trusting in the direction of my heart. Lead me God, teach me to live a life of integrity.

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Photo Diary #216: January 24, 2019 Thursday, Fernwood

I so love Salmon Nagiri and the calming chatter at the food court in Canberra centre… This is what contentment feels like.

I have also been watching the video below to affirm my decision. You gotta protect yourself, girl. Yes, they may not be aware of it, but you have to protect your well-being. 3:25 – 4:00 says a lot about this! And my decision to remove this toxicity has been so calming.

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Photo Diary #212: January 20, 2019 Sunday, God’s Five Purposes for Your Life

Something to ponder on and work hard at every day…

screen shot 2019-01-27 at 3.50.49 pm

Categories: 365 Photos Journal, God's Messages, Kayla In Oz, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Letter to Jesus: Happy Birthday!

Dear Kuya Jesus,

Happy birthday! Ito naman tayo, ahahahahah! I can’t believe I’m writing this letter at Toad Hall in Canberra, Australia. This shows how you’ve blessed me for the past years. I want to thank you for everything, for choosing to be born into this world to save us, for dying on the cross and for being the best kuya ever! Ahahahahaha. I want to honor You with my life, my choices, my lips, my heart, my finances. Everything kuya. IT’s been a rough 14 years for us, but what still holds true is Your unfailing love and compassion. Rick is right, I must not base Your love on what I feel, on what I think… because the truth that You love us despite our shortcomings still remains. You are the same yesterday, today and forever, and so I give my past, present and future to You!

You say I am enough when my heart and the people say I’m not

You say it’s okay while they say I’m unworthy to be forgiven

You say I’m loved when people say I am not

 

I’m sorry if I keep this small notebook and read my prayers every day. I treat you like a vending machine for the past year. I’m sorry God. But you know it’s just to keep track and to keep me at ease knowing that You are here, aware of my petty concerns.

 

God, You are that hand that tucks me in at night when I cannot sleep

God, You are that warm breeze that keeps me at peace amidst my throbbing heart and clammy hands

God, You are the whisper that assures me everything is okay

God, You are those soft eyes that choose not to judge me when I’m being too arrogant

God, You are that coach who guides me what to do

God, You are the peaceful assurance that I CAN despite what others say

God, You are that laughter when I complain, trying to keep it light

God, You are that silent thug in me, pushing me forward

God, You are that voice that do not judge me whenever I miss a service, although you keep on reproving me in this area of my life

God, You never nagged.

God, You never choke me with SHOULDs. Instead you keep on reminding me to rest

God, You are too busy pointing out the goods instead of the bads in me.

God, You did not give up on me when I was about to give up on myself.

 

Thank you so much Kuya for protecting us and granting our prayers. I love you Kuya. I have to work on staying close and getting closer to You each day for the next year. I thank you Kuya Jesus for:

 

Miraculously healing my sister and removing her cysts,

Changing my coordinator’s heart. I can’t believe she’s praising me now. What happened?

Granting my mama’s visa. You know it’s my dream. Thank you also for telling me not to ask my mama to undergo the health exams anymore. We trusted and You delivered.

Providing me with a job. I remember I was looking for jobs online because Appen was not too busy around June-July. As usual, I was anxious again. I had a lot of what ifs. What if I don’t earn enough, what if…And then now, I work 4o hours a week!

Helping me hit my target savings! I remember I only asked for this amount and after a year, I can’t believe I am actually earning what I put in the notebook! I thought it’s just wishful thinking, now it’s my reality. True enough, in an instant you can make a poor man rich (Sirach 11:20-21). I held on to this for such a long time. I still remember pawning my mama’s gift because I was at a rat race. I promised myself that that won’t happen again. I cried out to you, and You answered me! God, you are a great God!

Giving me all HDs for the past two semesters. You also granted my prayer of getting all HDs in all of my papers and take-homes and quizzes. I worked hard on them, but even though at times I faltered, You didn’t. You still gave me those HDs.

Stopping me from taking the assistantship. True enough, I can’t even move now. I  feel so tired every after my Appen working hours. How much more if I got into that Summer Scholarship. I also know that You have a purpose. And I trust You.

Reminding me that having a church family is important!

Thank you for teaching me that all blessings come from You. Working hard is important, but it’s not everything. We still have to anchor ourselves to you and source our strength and courage from You.

Thank you for teaching me the importance of timing. If it’s time, it will surely happen.

Thank you for bringing people in my life also who correct me so I can see my blind spots, and work on them.

Thank you for teaching me how to bake through Melda, for teaching me how to be confident, and loving.

Thank you most of all for clarifying my goals. I want to be a professor that’s it. I want to live a normal simple life but still able to provide for my parents and siblings, and family. I want to be the best mother and wife.

While I’m in my season of waiting, I found this to be helpful after hearing grandpas shared what they loved about their wives:

I must take care of my husband. Make him breakfast, prepare his lunchbox and welcome him with love during dinner;

Listen to him and support him;

Nag not. He has his way of being, and that’s just a fact of life;

Find a way to show him every day how I love, respect, and support him ;

Date every week

Thank you Jesus for everything especially for the past 2018, a Year of Excellence, which has been true for me.  I love you Kuya Jesus. Happy birthday!

 

Yours always,

Kim-kim

Categories: God's Messages, Kayla In Oz, Lessons, Musings, Successes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

GOD’S RESPONSE RIGHT AWAY

Screen Shot 2018-11-28 at 7.19.05 pm

It’s funny that the photo chosen by Marilyn is a plant in a pot… God’s response to my wilt flower.

Categories: God's Messages, Kayla In Oz, Uncategorized | Tags: , | Leave a comment

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