Nope. But my heart might burst if I don’t. People have been asking. I don’t wanna say this but, if I hadn’t turned down the full-time offer of a big university and the part-time offer of another university, I would have been teaching by now. Why sacrifice? For that big position. I am so close. God said I have to believe that I already have what I ask for and it shall be given to me. I’ll think about my next plan if I don’t get in.
Another reason actually is the clash between the deans. I wrote a lengthy letter to the president. Never did I dream that he would ask them to open a special post just for me.
His words: “You wouldn’t want to lose her.”
I thank him for that. Really. But the entry for me wasn’t that good. Crying in front of the superiors isn’t me but I did because it was too overwhelming. At the time of my conference with them (they shared the loads for my post), I felt that they were thinking I was acting as though I’m a special person. ( I honestly felt I was in a dream, an important person. They were asking me of my opinions). Well, I can’t blame them for feeling that way. I am an added burden to them. Of course, they have to follow orders from the big boss.
Yes, I did not sign the contract.
I said no to three offers actually.
And people think I am unemployed because no one wants to take me in. Hahahahahahaha.
This is something I don’t want to post on social media because it might break my rather good rapport with amazing professors from the same university. But yeah… the deans, the professors… all know.
I just feel disappointed when people check up on me. It’s normal, I know. But… I just don’t like it.
Sorry for the bad writing.
I am lazy.