Do I really have to post this?

Nope. But my heart might burst if I don’t. People have been asking. I don’t wanna say this but, if I hadn’t turned down the full-time offer of a big university and the part-time offer of another university, I would have been teaching by now. Why sacrifice? For that big position. I am so close. God said I have to believe that I already have what I ask for and it shall be given to me. I’ll think about my next plan if I don’t get in.

Another reason actually is the clash between the deans. I wrote a lengthy letter to the president. Never did I dream that he would  ask them to open a special post just for me.

His words: “You wouldn’t want to lose her.”

I thank him for that. Really. But the entry for me wasn’t that good. Crying in front of the superiors isn’t me but I did because it was too overwhelming. At the time of my conference with them (they shared the loads for my post), I felt that they were thinking I was acting as though I’m a special person. ( I honestly felt I was in a dream, an important person. They were asking me of my opinions). Well, I can’t blame them for feeling that way. I am an added burden to them. Of course, they have to follow orders from the big boss.

Yes, I did not sign the contract.

I said no to three offers actually.

And people think I am unemployed because no one wants to take me in. Hahahahahahaha.

This is something I don’t want to post on social media because it might break my rather good rapport with amazing professors from the same university. But yeah… the deans, the professors… all know.

I just feel disappointed when people check up on me. It’s normal, I know. But… I just don’t like it.


Sorry for the bad writing.

I am lazy.





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