Photo Journal #17: May 26, 2014 (Monday)

I locked up in my room for the whole day and just sobbed. Fear crippled me and snatched hope from me. Anger paralyzed my dreams and longing to
Help. I began to bury myself into negative thoughts and held on to the faith… That I was, am and will always be evil. I even screamed at God and
threw tantrums, hoping that He will instantly become the way He used to be while I was still starting my relationship with Him, a “fairy godfather”. Unlike my parents, God did not tolerate this “i want-my-way” behavior and so He never answered back which was more dreadful and agonizing. Later on though, I stopped wailing and dropped myself to bed and the last memories I remembered reminiscing were the happy moments we had together
at school while listening to a repeated soft whisper, ” I love you still” before I finally dozed off. Yes, Lord, I cannot stop myself from believing in You and for loving You. I love you.

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